Husband of friend, having seen the sign “Plums” goes back in the dead of night to “enhance” the fun factor of the Greengrocers shop.  Needless to say the Grocer didn’t retain the instruction! Still, I laughed. UT scored this 7 out of 10 for idea. 1 out of 10 for daring.

It was at 06.10 local time, that a jubilant UT proclaimed to his sleeping wife ‘Got ‘im!’ UT Hooligan aged 32 from United Kingdom, has stalked his prey for four days with military precision.  Carefully tracking his nemesis across the garden, UT could often be heard muttering taunts such as ‘You’re over there aren’t you? You little bastard…but you’ll have to come back this way eventually and then I’ll ’ave you!’

UT’s preparations were extensive in this operation, living up to his motto of ‘Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance’. To the extent that UT was seen by his wife trying out the trap on a carrot to ensure that death would be swift, should any carrots inadvertently happen across the trap. The moles’ crime has most notably been the production of over twenty hills in the Hooligan garden, much to the chargrin of Bee (UTs’ wife), who has had to flatten them and shovel the earth off at speed, before her husband sets off with the lawn mower. The two eldest Hooligan children were woken immediately, so that they could experience a real live dead mole.  The Hooligan parents felt that this was a good grounding for life in East Anglia.

In a spurt of self-honesty, UT stated that he ‘may not do DIY, but nobody could say that he couldn’t catch things’ and also pointed out that this was probably going to be ‘the best part of his whole fucking day’ as he departed for work. UT is currently awaiting his acceptance into local society, as he has now proved unequivocally with the catching of the mole that he is ‘no wet-arsed townie’

  

 

Mole - No comment

Yes, literally rubbish.  Upon reading The Guardian newspaper this evening (two days overdue, but I got there eventually).  I happened accross an article on waste disposal and recycling.  This caught my attention as someone who recycles now more than ever and also has a compost bin (which I attribute more to being in my thirties now).  Britain now has a major problem with waste going to landfill and we are being told that we need to address the issue asap, as opposed to some point in the distant future when it is no longer our or our governments problem.  Apparently, some sort of payment is gaining strong support, in the same vein as utility bills.  So what you dump you pay for.  Ok, this is only pertaining to household waste.  We are receiving a lot of pressure about household waste and to reduce, reuse and recycle, which I think we should all be personally responsible for, but levying taxes on households, who by this articles own admission only contributes 9% of the amount of waste going to landfill, I think is a bit rich really.  Only a passing mention of main contributors to landfill waste e.g building and demolition materials.  Again, the main supermarkets (who are the main contributors to household waste) are barely mentioned.  Surely, rather than levy more taxes on the household, why not campaign the supermarkets and main food distributers to produce less packaging on their foods?  We all know there is far too much.  Or would it be too much to ask that all of this packaging is made from biodegradable materials like many carrier bags these days, so then people like me can just chuck it in our composters.  If you want to address the problem of waste going to landfill, address the propogators of this mass waste industry and not the recipients.

I use my local freecycle website all the time. A great way to recycle…One mans junk is another mans junk so they say…

www.freecycle.org