Yes, I am back. I am scarred from the boring nature of what could be considered Army National Guard Annual Training. It was two weeks long. It was known about for at least six months in advance. So why could they not even plan for the very next day?

We went to Camp Ripley in central Minnesota right on the Mississippi River.

The bus ride there was under 10 hours. There was 2 buses and only 1 stop and no need to refuel. On the way back, there was only 1 bus at first, so some people had to wait a while for another bus. There was about 10 stops and 6 or so refueling stops. We had a full bus for part of the time. By the first stop, the other bus that left like an hour after us had already caught up. At the first stop, we had to put about 10 people of 30 onto the second bus. At the second stop we had to put another 10 people on the 2nd bus, leaving the first bus with about 10 or so people… The trip home took about 12.5 hours.

We got there and had lots to do. Lots of stay busy for no reason work. One day we had a particular training range to go to. We got up at 6 so we could leave at 7. Breakfast is from 6 til 8 (and once it was from 7 til 8 ) and thats why the training is supposed to start during breakfast…? We didnt end up leaving til about 9 because there was lots of sitting around to do and wait.

We were about half way there when a call came to halt in place. The range didnt open until about 2 oclock (1400 hours). Hmm, nice to know that after we planned it and left. We were stopped at another range… ok, lets stay here and shoot the grenade launchers. Good idea.

Every has to put their name on a list. Most people dont want to shoot the grenade launcher because its really hot and everyone is annoyed. After long discussions and waiting trying to get everyone to just sign the sheet to get a firing order, we had to leave. No one got to fire the grenade launcher.

The same day, we were all informed that those of us who were participating in the training on that day would be going to the Mall of America on Saturday (it was Tuesday). Come Friday (during the same training for a third time) we were then all told that whoever is participating in the training will be doing it again on Saturday with no plans of going to the Mall of America. That was a huge motivator.

Lesson learned from that is: unless someone says “I Promise” before telling you what the plan is, there is no for sure chance that you will be doing it. Just simply being told this is what you will be doing doesnt mean anything. I guess thats just the army?

I got to stand in a pit for 2 days in 90 degree weather playing Range Safety during the firing of the 249 Machine gun. It wasnt bad… at least I knew what I was going to be doing. I didnt have to pretend to work, or stay hidden or look busy with absolutly nothing to do.

When you are in the Army (or National Guard) you forefit your maturity. You are treated like 12 year olds and you are not responsible for your own actions. You are only responsible for the actions of everyone around you.

Example. The first or second night that people were actually ‘allowed’ to drink after work a girl (who was not of drinking age, but was in the Army) and a guy were drinking. Everyone left them alone and didnt want to interrupt their ‘getting to know eachother’ behavior.

The next morning the guy had misplaced his shoes and cell phone. The girl had misplaced her shoes as well… hmm. Everyone had ideas of what went on, but they both said they remembered nothing. The cell phone was located.

The guy went to get his cell phone and was then told to get his superiors. I guess the Chaplin found 2 sets of shoes, a cell phone and a pair of panties. Maybe he was concerned hoping that there wasnt a rape. The objects were all in plastic evidence bags. No rape was committed since they were both consenting adults (if anything even happened… neither remebers anything).

So, they are not in trouble right? Wrong… everyone got in trouble and locked down and had to stay in uniform (on a Friday night). Some how we all let everyone down by not looking after two adults. I dont get it. How do you tell another adult they have to go to bed right now and stop talking to that girl? Sounds pretty pathetic to me.

That punishment lasted about a whole day. Then they gave in, and everyone had their night ‘free’. Free meaning you could either hang out outside the barracks, or go to the only thing on post that was open: the bar. The bar consisted of a bunch of white trash music (Kid Rock), pool, drinks and lots of smoke. cough.

None of the days of training went as planned, and none of the days of training were planned prior to the night before. One would think that the planning process would be fairly easy for only 2 weeks of training that happens only once a year. But one would be wrong.

The food. The food was horrible. Chili that tasted like peppered ketchup with sliced sausage from the breakfast in it. Some type of burger like substance floating in greasy water. A mini pork chop marinated with syrup. Cinnamon flavored turkey strings, with cinnamon flavored water gravy on semi-mashed potatoes served with burnt deep-fried shrimp. mmm.

Each day, hour, minute, second dragged on as if it couldnt get any worse… but each hour seemed to get worse. Two weeks seemed like months. (Well, not really, I just like to exaggerate for dramatics). On top of everything, I brought my new MP3 player along as my source of entertainment… but it stopped working 4 hours into the trip on the way there. Thanks Creative Muvo 1GB MP3 player.

To end on a positive note: I did get to shoot M-16s at close range while walking/standing and also in a house setting with a team. We did MOUT training (SWAT style room to room searches in a team type situation). I got to shoot a 249 belt fed machine gun. I got to drive a HMMWV around for a little while.