It is the time of year when I squidward get to have fun at a job and scare grown men into crying like little school girls…mmm in pleated skirts and ponytails with lolipops in their mouths…….sorry a little off topic.

For directions and pictures and information and a general sense of unease in your lower intestines visit me or dont and see what happens when you try to sleep at night.
That is all, continue shopping.

Since Halloween is only a month away (and the stores have had halloween crap for sale for months already!) I thought I’d share with you the scariest monster in the world. Beware! You may have nightmares after what you are about to witness…

Scary Halloween Monster

Jeff, this puts that weird creepy alien thing to shame…

Dear Husband:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good.
I’ve been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t notice that I had gotten my hair and nails
done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching the game. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t
touch me or anything. Either you’re cheating or you don’t love me
anymore, whatever the case is, I’m gone.

P.S. If you’re trying to find me, don’t. Your BROTHER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
woman is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch sports so much to
try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn’t work. I
did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first
thing that came to mind was “You look just like a man!” My mother
raised me not to say anything if you can’t say anything nice. When
you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the
price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt
that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the
lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets
to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for
a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime
from me. So take care.

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that’s not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Listen to soothing music and watch scraps of falling paper that blew into a park in Brooklyn. No point necessary, only enjoy.

Reply to: anon-98550028@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-09-19, 12:56PM CDT

ok, i am having a problem with crashing my bike and flipping over many times. one busted arm, a few ribs, and two collar bones (the same one actually) later, i realized that there should be roll bars for bicycles. so, if anyone has anything like this please sell it to me.

-this is in or around Situps before breakfast

craigslist.org link

(fyi: i didnt write that, and i have not broken those bones…)

I was a skeptic at first. Why would I want to confess anything to a website… well click and find out: come clean. (another viral web-vertising site)

This art is some of the coolest stuff I have seen in a long time. And… I am getting old. Eight-bit themed art.

I am 8-bit | part 2

The aftermath of Hurricane Katrina is known world wide. What I dont get is why is everyone blaming Bush and the government for delayed reaction? Yes its sad that relief efforts were not as immediate as some think they should be. But did the people living in these areas that were known to be lower than sea level think they would be safe forever? Why didnt I see anyone preparing for the Hurricane? Where were the droves of people filling sand bags and boarding up windows? Everyone knew the hurricane was coming. Were they just sitting around thinking they were immune to nature? Was it such a hopeless cause to try to barricade up the city or their homes?

And why all of a sudden do people there just sit and wait for help? Why arent they helping them selves? Helping each other? If my home was flooded and I was forced from my town, I dont think I would just be sitting around doing nothing, complaining and blaming the government for not doing something…

I am feel sad for everyone who lost their way of life there in Louisiana, but you cannot always just expect a handout becuase you are having problems. I am sure there are people there who are helping, and doing things… but this hope that someone is coming to rescue you? Not a hope that I would be thinking.

If where I lived became total chaos, I would not be thinking that someone is coming for me. I would be doing all I can to escape. I would not just sit around on my roof waiting. And another thing, when you are sitting around waiting for help, why would you shoot at other people? Why would you loot a bunch of wet flood damaged things? Why would your posessions take priority over someones life? Why would you shoot at the very people who are actually trying to help?

And I do not understand why Bush is apologizing for a delayed relief effort for that area. That just means that he really did do something wrong. It is not official that he conciously did not act sooner. Prior to an apology, it was just speculation and public opinion. But now, he says that he takes the blame… not a good move.

I also wonder what happens to the people who were very poor. Who couldnt afford flood insurance, let alone any other type of insurance. Are they covered by some sort of emergency federal aid? Are their homes going to be replaced? What about the people who had flood insurance? Do their homes get replaced just like the people who had no insurance? Is that fair? Should people who do not plan for accidents get the same aid as those who did plan for accidents?

It seems to me that there is a mass effort to try and blame people for a natural disaster. It was nature that caused the damage, not Bush, not the government, not the looters, not the poor, and not the engineers who originally built the water retaining structures that finally gave way. You cant build a vulnerable environment that only works under ideal conditions and expect it to last forever. Things happen. People overcome and adapt. By trying to point fingers and blame people and expect others to help you because you think you deserve help does not fix the situation.

I know times are hard there, but the best way to get through them is with a positive attitude and one that is compassionate for others around you. Greed and selfishness will get people no where except in a very negative and painful place.

I am sorry if I do not know the whole story, but that is what is on my mind right now.