Alright, here is the synapsis of this previous weekend: Mark, Emmie (friend) and I decided it would be fun to go visit Las Vegas. Let me remind you that we have a baby. An eleven month old baby. Who has a mind of his own. Yes folks, he is a little person behind those huge squishy cheeks. Anyway, we cannot afford much in the way of vacations, so we drove from San Diego to Las Vegas. DROVE with an ELEVEN month old (who in their right mind brings a baby to Vegas?), in the CAR on a trip that normally takes 4 hours (3 1/2 if you’re single and can drive 100mph the whole way). Can you see where this is going? We were smart on Friday evening by leaving from our house at approximately baby bedtime. He sleeps fairly well in the car, so we figured it would be no problem. And it really wasn’t a problem getting there. There was a smidge of rain (people in California FREAK OUT when it rains and lose all function of bodily limbs and crash their vehicles into one another) and few car accidents and only one stop for a potty break and diaper change. It was the first diaper change done completely while the baby was standing. I was waiting for the water fountain to begin flowing all over the driver side seat, but it didn’t happen. Anyway, the trip to get there was fairly uneventful and only took approximately 5.25 hours. HOWEVER, the return trip was not so great. I wanted to leave by noon on Sunday. Half of the trip between SD and LV is a four lane highway, with many many semi-trucks with trailers who drive 8 mph because of the 85 degree slopes of the mountains they must drive up. The cars dodging in and out of the semis drive 140 mph up the same mountains, which causes a bit of a ruckus when they get behind or cut off a semi. We got off to a late start (2 pm) and therefore were leaving Sin City at the same time as all the other crazy people who drive there. We were stuck in snail paced traffic for nearly a third of the trip. Let me tell you that babies do not like to be awake and in the car for extended periods of time. Ear piercing screams were going on inside of our vehicle for 1/2 of the trip. The boss (baby) demanded we stop at every rest stop and every town we came to. He demanded to be released from the clutches of death that is his car seat. And after he was sprung free and allowed some time to stretch his teeny tiny legs, he VIOLENTLY objected to being shoved back into said seat. Much blood-curdling screaming (mostly from me) and back arching and limb flinging (again, from me) did occur. Well, this fun little excursion to Vegas turned into SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS of sitting in a car listening to HAIR-RAISING HORRENDOUS SCREECHING. Oh, joy. How I wish we did this trip more often…

So, the 4 Britons have been brought back to the UK from the Guantanamo Bay prison facility and I was on a field exercise when it occurred. I was sitting in a rest area at the time, listening to the news via radio when I heard how they arrived at RAF Northolt, reunited with their families and were given a full team of councillors, medics, lawyers at no expense spared cost. They essentially received celebrity treatment. They have since been “freed” by Police and have now returned to normal civilian life.
Well, correct me if I am wrong, but were’nt they originally arrested in Afghanistan under suspicion of collaborating with an organisation charged with commiting offences aginst Terrorism? Under what capacity they did so, I don’t know, but I believe that where there is smoke there is fire. However, evidence of some weight must therefore be lacking in order for the Police to have actioned their release.
Anyway, my point is: The whole issue has got somewhat distorted in that we have allowed these people back into the UK without any further public investigation into their reasons for being in Afghanistan in the first place. Arent we judged by the company we keep?
On the one hand I am glad they are out of G-Bay as it has been 3 years since detention without charge, but I don’t agree they should have been brought back to the UK and then released without a seperate inquiry. I’m not taking anything away from the US, but I know that a proper UK led investigation into their connections within Afghanistan would have somewhat been hindered, but then intelligence is a very fragile affair and there are probable facts that can’t be disclosed for fear of identifying sources. Protecting the watcher so to speak.
Now, I dont presume for one moment that these men will be allowed to live normal lives as they will be scrutinised forever and a day, but I do presume that a compensation claim is bound to have been discussed (my cynical side coming out as usual). I just don’t feel safe knowing that this is the end result of a situation that kicked off after the world’s largest Terrorist attack. Justice be they innocent or guilty has not yet been served! Where are the answers?

What I would do with them? I don’t know for sure. They have served a prison sentence without charge and subsequently released. Send them back to Afghanistan maybe? Let them make their own way home? I just don’t know yet. Ill have to think on it.

According to a Judge in NY, the ad. campaign that says Listerine is as effective as floss at fighting tooth and gum decay is false and misleading and poses a public health risk. Oops. I guess we still cant use chemicals and science to take the lazy route out of flossing. Maybe I should start flossing?

Cant floss with Listerine.

Yesterday I went to the dentist on post (Army dentist) to get my teeth cleaned. It was the worst dentist experience Ive had. It was the most painful cleaning Ive ever had. I know its been about 2 years since my last cleaning, but still… They used a drill type cleaner that shot water out all over the place. The water sprayed out of my mouth all over my face and glasses.

The liquid sucker vaccum tube they put in your mouth dried out my epiglottis to the point of great discomfort. It didnt even suck out the water. The water that was spraying all over my face and glasses, also was dribbling out of my mouth all over my ear and back of my neck.

When the drill cleaner was being used on my back molars, I was almost deafened by the extremly high pitched vibrations going straight from my molar to my inner ear. My hands clenched tightly. Ive never had pain of discomfort of this type at the dentist before. I had one cavity filled before, and yes, the drilling was slightly uncomfortable, but not to this strange degree… I was only here for a cleaning!

After the drilling and drooling and bloody spit, came the metal scraper. Yes, we all know the metal scraper. Its ususally not too bad, but when the dentist working on you keeps looking around at other things behind her while she is scraping your teeth it can definatly increase the chance that your gums will be scraped of any plaque or skin they have on them.

At least I got my free super soft toothbrush (for my bleeding and sore gums) and some floss (since I cant use listerine).

For the past month or so, Colin has been pulling up on EVERYTHING. However, he has not quite grasped the concept of getting back down. For instance, just the other day he discovered that his crib is a great place to practice standing up. I put him down for his nap, and then he would start screaming because he couldn’t get down. So, I would go back in, and lay him back down, and before he was even completely on his belly, he was sitting back up in order to pull himself up to standing. Several times this happened. He does have one method of attempting to get back down from standing. Instead of bending at the waist like most normal people do, he flings himself backwards while arching his back so that the first point of contact to hit the floor is his SKULL! Yes folks, I am raising a “challenged” child. Can you say, “short bus”? Anyway, the distance between the sides of his crib are just about the distance from his feet to his head. So, as he flings himself backwards in there, he cracks his skull on the opposite side. You may want to try this, for it must be fun. He didn’t do it once. He didn’t do it twice. No sir, he did it THREE TIMES!! Now he has three lovely bruised on the back of his cranium. I don’t ever need to abuse my child, cause he takes care of that himself.

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times! as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

It has created much debate in my house regarding the popular topic of schools lately. More and more is being printed arguing the need for segregation and/or identification of different religions in schools. For example: In one school they have openly encouraged religious segregation in order to A) become a more attractive school to the Muslim community of that area, and B) Highlight their desire to embrace differences in religions and the cultural diversity of it.
Well…I say its all a load of arse. The children of Britain, regardless of race, colour or creed, go to school to learn and part of it means learning to get on with each other regardless. But, it seems that the “adults” are the ones who want to highlight the differences in these children and this to my mind will be damaging in the long run.
In my Ivory tower I admit that my kids get very little spiritual guidance from me. Thats not to say I havent a clue, but it was in adult life that I chose not to partake in religion, but again…it doesnt stop me answering their questions as I see fit. On the same note, it doesnt stop them learning about others and how they live blah blah.
However, as much as I accept that we should all just “get along”, I did wonder why the majority of the books my children used to bring home for reading practice were about characters with Asian names. Its all got fluffy and Im not sure we have a clue what we are doing to our kids because of it. I suppose it depends on whether you as a parent draw attention to it? I dont..so maybe my kids are okay? We shall see.

Every month the San Diego Gas & Electric company people make their rounds to check all of our meters to charge us millions of dollars. And every month, as the SDG&E woman is about to enter the backyard to check our meter, she yells at the top of her lungs “SDG & E” as if to announce to the entire neighborhood exactly where she is. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. However, I never see her walking down the driveway, I just all of a sudden hear someone SCREAMING right outside whatever window I’m next to, and I about pee my pants. That is all for this post.

One of the best advertisements for life is the fact that so many people want to live for ever. Or maybe it’s because people need a bit more time to get it right. All religions promise that in some way or other you’ll overcome death and live for ever. Religions that don’t promise immortality would be like a Santa Claus who didn’t deliver presents. There simply wouldn’t be any point in believing.
Reincarnation is another offering for immortality. Many people claim to have been something special in a previous life. Research has shown that Cleopatra would have to have been a different person every three minutes to satisfy the numbers who claim to have been her in the past. It’s worth noting that few people claim to have been contacted by famous people from the future who are grateful they didn’t come back as an IT consultant.

The more powerful people get, the less they like the idea of death, which is the ultimate power cut. To stave off death, they embalm themselves and build mausoleums. Our old people do much the same thing, only with face cream and conservatories.

Living for ever would actually be quite dull. You’d do everything you ever wanted in the first few years, and then spend eternity passing the time doing jigsaw puzzles of bewildering complexity. Some people believe that the whole of creation is God’s jigsaw puzzle to stave off the boredom of eternity. If it is, the question you have to ask is, are you a straight bit?

If you’re going to live for ever, it’s vital to decide what age you want to be. Most people opt for 32, which is when you’re old enough to know what you’re doing, but young enough still to be able to do it. Children are how ordinary people make a stab at immortality: with children, you know the DNA that makes you laugh like a donkey/walk like a flamingo will grace the earth for centuries.

Traditionally, the options for being remembered for ever were to be a prophet, artist or conqueror. Nowadays, being a scientist is your best bet, especially if you discover a nifty equation. A good thing to discover would be the secret of eternal life; you’d become very famous and live for ever. But then so would IT consultants.

People who’ve had near-death experiences report being welcomed by a blinding white light. If this is a first taste of immortality, it’s comforting to know that it will be well lit. This will be especially helpful for those jigsaws.

(G Browning)