Little Johnnie’s walking through the park one day, where he finds some welding goggles that somebody has obviously dropped. He puts them on, and everything’s gone green. He wanders about the park, looking in awe at everything with a green tint. The swings, the cricket pavaillion, the duck pond, the dirty old man…

“Hello little boy,” says the pervert, a faded Glam Rock star from the 1970’s. “Do you know what fisting is?”
“No mister,” replies little Johnnie.

“Well then, I wonder if you know what rimming is then?”
“No mister,” says Johnnie, a little bit scared by the weird old man in the bad wig.

“I see,” says the manky old spunker, rubbing his hands together, “Do you know how to do fellatio?”
“Sorry mister,” says Johnnie ripping off the goggles. “I’ve got something to confess. I’m not really a welder you know.”